In 2018, actress Taraji P. Henson found herself at the peak of her career. Her role as Cookie Lyon in “Empire” had made her a household name, and she was starring in major films. Yet behind her powerful on-screen presence, Henson battled anxiety and depression that often left her feeling overwhelmed and isolated. Rather than suffering in silence, she chose to speak out and founded the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, named after her father who struggled with mental health issues after serving in the Vietnam War. Through her foundation, she works to break down the stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community.
The Modern Woman’s Struggle for Calm
Henson’s story resonates deeply with many women today who find themselves navigating an increasingly chaotic world. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety disorders during their lifetime, with women of color facing additional barriers to mental health support.
What Stands in Our Way?
Several key factors contribute to women’s challenges in finding calm:
1 – THE MENTAL LOAD
Research published in Psychology Today reveals that women carry a disproportionate share of the domestic mental load – the invisible work of remembering, planning, and coordinating family life. This mental load is sometimes referred to as “worry work”. This constant mental juggling act creates a persistent background noise that makes true calm elusive.
2 – SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS
Societal pressure to “do it all” creates unprecedented stress levels among women. The expectation to excel in careers while maintaining perfect homes and relationships creates a perpetual state of internal tension.
3 – DIGITAL OVERWHELM
Do you keep your phone by your bed? Find yourself scrolling aimlessly? This constant connectivity can make disconnecting from your devices feel impossible.
A Path to Peace
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps the Score,” emphasizes the importance of body-based practices for managing anxiety. Research supports several approaches:
- Deep breathing (shown to reduce cortisol levels by 23% in clinical studies)
- Regular movement of your body
- Regular time in nature (proven to lower stress hormones within 15 minutes)
Community Connection Is Key
A landmark study in the journal “Psychological Science” found that women who maintain strong social connections show greater resilience to stress and anxiety. However, the key is quality over quantity:
– Focus on nurturing few, deep relationships rather than many superficial ones
– Join or create women’s circles or support groups
– Share vulnerably with trusted friends
Like Henson’s foundation work, finding calm requires both personal practice and community support.
Practical Steps Forward
Consider implementing these evidence-based practices:
1 – START WITH A 5-MINUTE DAILY MEDITATION PRACTICE.
Tune into yourself before the world’s demands take over. Like nature, we need moments to pull back and let our roots grow deeper. Even five minutes of stillness can reset your nervous system and create space for clarity.
2 – CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE BEFORE CHECKING DEVICES.
Instead of immediately plugging into the digital world, choose to savor your morning moments. This could be as simple as sitting quietly with your coffee or engaging in gentle movement. This intentional start helps set a peaceful tone for your entire day.
3 – INTEGRATE AT LEAST ONE “SLOW DAY” INTO YOUR SCHEDULE.
In a world that glorifies the hustle, having a designated slow day is quietly revolutionary. It’s about choosing to savor life rather than rush through it. Use this day to cancel unnecessary commitments, practice using your power word, and embrace the luxury of doing less.
4 – KEEP A GRATITUDE JOURNAL.
Understanding yourself is crucial for building confidence and inner peace. Many women have been trained to disavow their true power, but reconnecting with your authentic self can transform how you move through the world.
5 – SCHEDULE REGULAR TIME IN NATURE.
Working with negative judgments is a powerful practice for reclaiming inner peace. There are specific exercises, tools, and books available to help transform these thought patterns into more empowering ones.
6 – BEGIN A JOURNEY TO FIND YOURSELF (AND DISCOVER YOUR INNER WISDOM AND TRUTH).
Learn practical steps to break free from people-pleasing, tap into your intuition, and embrace your authentic power. It’s time to stop dimming your light and start living fully expressed.
7 – TAKE DEEP BREATHS.
Deep breathing intercepts the sympathetic nervous system and allows it to reset. It is a simple practice that you can use anywhere, at any time, to give yourself the space to think clearly.
8 – HAVE A SOUND SPIRITUAL ROUTINE THAT CONNECTS YOU TO POWER AND YOUR PURPOSE.
The goal is to feel connected to your source of power and your purpose. When you know these two things, you will feel supported to succeed and to have what you need — even in uncertain times. You don’t have to do it all, and you definitely don’t have to do it all at once.
Conclusion
Finding calm as a modern woman isn’t about achieving perfect peace – it’s about creating spaces and practices that support our well-being. As Taraji Henson’s story demonstrates, our personal journey to peace can also become a beacon of hope for others. These sanctuaries might look different for each of us, but they all serve the same purpose: providing a refuge where we can return to ourselves and find our center in a chaotic world.
Remember, the journey to calm isn’t linear. It’s a practice of returning, again and again, to what grounds us. In this “returning”, we build not just moments of peace, but a sustainable relationship with calm that can weather life’s inevitable storms.
