If you’re a woman and feel like you’re not living up to your full potential, you’re not alone. The journey to authentically be yourself and to live fully expressed as a woman isn’t a straightforward formula; it’s more like an alphabet. Here, we’ll explore how to bridge the gap between what you feel and what you know, overcome the dangers of playing small, and embrace the process of becoming your true self while living fully expressed.
The Battle Between What You Feel and What You Know
As women, we often struggle with the conflict between what we feel and what we know. What you know cannot always be explained; you feel it deeply. This intrinsic “knowing” is powerful, even if it defies scientific scrutiny or logical explanation. It might manifest as a hunch, a gut feeling, or an intuitive sense of what’s right.
This “knowing” is a gift you have had since birth. However, societal conditioning often pressures us to disavow these feelings, favoring quantifiable and explainable knowledge instead. As a result, too many women learn while still very young to “play small” or to take up less than their rightful space.
Playing small is an obstacle to unlocking your true potential as a woman.
The challenge for modern women is to reclaim this power by recognizing and rejecting this generational conditioning and consciously embracing our truth—unapologetically.
The Hidden Danger Of “Playing Small”
When you don’t live fully expressed as a woman, two main consequences follow:
- Not Reaching Your True Potential: You miss out on discovering and harnessing your full capabilities.
- Not Reaching Your Goals: You end up falling short of your aspirations.
Conversely, unlocking your true potential as a woman means living a life you are proud of and surrendering to things that bring you joy. It means living your life on purpose.
To Become Yourself Is A Practice
As Ellen Bass wisely stated, “Everything in nature desires to become itself.” Like an unfinished work of art, you are always evolving. Leonardo da Vinci famously said that art is never truly finished, only abandoned.
You must decide not to abandon yourself for the sake of keeping others safe, if you desire to become truly yourself. And by extension, to unlock your truest and highest potential.
The Alphabet of Being Yourself
Here is the alphabet, or touchstone words, that describe the process of becoming oneself. This is not an exhaustive list but merely an offering of reflection to allow you to notice which words provide resonance, or in other words, that land with you. Some letters of this alphabet form a triangle, or a 3-sided trifecta of cultivated qualities that allow you to experience the power of synergy, much like how one herbal remedy alone is potent but might be amplified by the additioٜn of another carefully chosen herb. (For example, the antioxidant power of turmeric is amplified by pepper.)
All of the following practices are like jet fuel that empower the goal of living fully expressed as a woman.
A – Awareness : Alignment : Activation
Everything begins with awareness without judgment. It is important to notice honestly what you feel and to interrogate this feeling to understand what you are being called to align with and then – only then – can you activate your way of being from a powerful and conscious choice.
- Awareness: Begin with honest awareness without judgment. Notice your feelings and interrogate them to understand what you are being called to align with.
- Alignment: Once aware, align your actions and thoughts with your true self.
- Activation: Activate your being through conscious, powerful choices.
Practical Step: Start a daily practice of mindfulness. Spend a few minutes each day in quiet reflection, observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
B – Body
The body holds wisdom, it always speaks truth, and oftentimes, it knows more than you do consciously. or many other questions, The body has two responses: yes or no. Yes feels like expansion, excitement, heat. A response of no feels like contraction, pain, recoil or resistance. When we resist this clear answer, we feel conflicted.
The body holds wisdom and often knows more than the conscious mind. When faced with decisions, your body provides clear signals: expansion, excitement, and heat signify a “yes,” while contraction, pain, and resistance indicate a “no.”
Often, your body knows more than you do. It knows what you really want and what you really fear. When we resist our body’s clear answer, we will feel conflicted.
If you need an answer to something that you feel unsure about, such as whether you should accept a job or go out with someone, learn to tune into your body’s signals. You can learn how to do it through the wise guidance of this book.
Practical Step: Practice body awareness exercises. Pay attention to your physical reactions to different situations and decisions.
C – Calling
Distinguish between what you want to do and what you feel you “should” do. Your true callings come from your inner truth. Notice these callings, even if you don’t act on every one.
You might feel a yearning to start a business, quit a relationship, eat a certain food, or to go somewhere. There are all kinds of callings that come from your truth.
You can recognize the difference between what you want to do and what you feel you “should” do by tuning to your body as described above. Unlocking your true potential requires that you obey your calling.
Practical Step: Tune into yourself. What do you feel drawn to do? What do you feel resistance to doing? Reflect on any resistance you feel and what it might be telling you.
D – Desire
Desire is the true seat of motivation. And you cannot force yourself into or out of a feeling.
Even painful desires can guide you to where you need to grow, forgive, or heal. With proper training, you can learn to recognize all of the feelings that can guide you to your truth.
Practical Step: Sit quietly and notice what you truly want right now. Say it out loud. Without judgement.
E – Energy
Energy is never destroyed, only converted. It rises with excitement and falls with discomfort. Energy expands with you when you think of your next adventure or happy place. It contracts when you imagine someone that you dislike.
All of the energy exchange that happens to you every day all day is powerful information to guide you into your most authentic way of being, your truest self.
Practical Step: Monitor your energy levels in different situations. Notice what activities or people energize you and which drain you. Notice what foods energize you and which ones make you tired.
Final Thoughts
Remember, learning to be authentically yourself and to unlock your true potential is a continuous journey. By embracing your inner knowing, rejecting societal conditioning, and actively honoring your truth, you can unlock your true potential as a woman and live a life that resonates with your deepest desires and aspirations. Start with awareness, honor your body’s wisdom, follow your calling, understand your desires, and monitor your energy. With these practices and resources, you can build the confidence to become your true self and enjoy living fully expressed.
Auxiliary Resources:
- The Knowing Woman, the confidence course for women
- 7 Must-Read Confidence Books for women
